Dear Shana,

Heyyy I'm back! And I think I'm getting better at writing. So here's the gist: My life is pretty okay now, though there are still those regular ups and downs. I have more friends now, though-- I don't know, I still don't seem to be satisfied. Anyway, before I move on, let me perform the social convention of inquiring about your well-being. How are you Shana? To be honest, I miss you, a lot. I miss you because I don't really do anime much anymore. Though sometimes I can squeeze 'em in. I managed to finish two seasons of SAO about a week ago but that's about it. I have no other connection with anime for the time being. Moving on, I'm becoming pretty busy. School's pretty much the same, easy-peezy. Usually it's just sort of a tickle, sometimes it becomes an annoying prick of splinter on your backside. But once you managed to pull it off, no problemo. Other school stuff would probably include the again being an Officer! Yes, I'm back as the Business Manager. Mainly I manage businesses. wink wink. YFC stuff is next, ironically I enjoy it a lot. I get to do band work and stuff so it's good! Apart from that I'm thinking about a part-time job, teaching maybe. But that's all the plans I have for now. Let's go to my problems then. Well, after joining the dots of the many different things that perplex me: I have found that I am so fucking hard to satisfy. I don't like to, but for some reason I like getting as much attention and dismissing it. I don't know why though. Maybe there's some sociological reason there. I'll look into it. Also, since my thoughts are safe with you, I'm thinking of deeming myself unworthy of a woman in my life right now. For ludicrous reasons that I'm still too torn to share with a fictional character, but what the hell? I am losing it! I am attracted to anybody I get along with, and charmingly flirt back in that uber charming way that I flirt back! (Apparently, self-righteousness is one of my problems, too.) Now I can't decide who to pick! WHAT THE EFFIN HELL. I really need to control myself. Curse my past which my sociological reasoning found to be the reason for this behavior. And curse my tendency to entertain all possibilities! CURSE QUANTUM FUCKING MECHANICS FOR TURNING ME INTO A RELATIONSHIP PROBABILITY CALCULATING MACHINE, AND MY FEAR OF TAKING RISKS! With that, I bid you adieu, flame-haired, fiery-eyed one. I'll talk to you (hopefully) soon. Wishing you were real to warm me up all over, Jono

Dear Shana,

I'm sad...

:(((

was it only just a dream for you???...

slgdkfg

Hoping to get better,

Jono

Dimming light.

Dear Shana,

It was close,

Yeah,

you could say I was jealous,

but hey, can't blame 'em

Okaaay,

Some randomness,

PIRATES 4? OSM. PURE OSMNESS

The mermaid thing was great, even if the love story was somehow corny (no offense, but it really was, in a way ...)

What happened to the religious guy anyway?? XD

And what about angelica??

shkhgskldfgh

One more thing, originally I thought that Johnny Depp's gayish way of running was the mannerism of ONLY his Jack Sparrow character portrayal, since he was a bit of a loon.

But after watching The Tourist, HAHAHA,

well, no need to explain.

Still, Depp is the most flexible Hollywood actor I could ever think of,

He can be a crazy ol' pirate,

a crazy ol' factory owner with a high-pitched voice,

a mathematician who would do anything for his love,

a serial murderer,

and even a lizard.

lsdfgldfjgldjg

well, that was pretty much it.

Hoping for Pirates 5,

Jono

blahblahblah.

Dear Shana,

I deleted the post earlier.

coz my conscience kept bugging me.

*ETERNAL SIGH*

sometime in the afternoon, after our oath-taking, I had the sudden urge to go online.

but I didn't open my FB due to, yeah.

So i kinda...

dfbhghghj

I couldn't tell people how much it hurt..

I was scared.

I'm beginning to feel like Jack.

Sure he had himself, and he liked its company

and he solves problems with the help of himself

but,

This is reality,

I can't clone myself so I can build a pyramid of myself.

I felt more and more alone

guess it was time for me to move on without 'em

seeing that they don't seem to remember anymore.

It felt like they had already whooshed by..

and it hurt.

reading that made the wound open up much bigger.

it replaced the original "the most hurtful thing anyone has said to me"

which is "wala kang wala kang kwenta/you're useless/you're nothing"

and it even came from someone who had meant allot to me.

time to cut this nonsense HAHA :P

Truly yours,

Jono

Dear Shana,

From now on, this is my "occasional" diary.

I possibly can't write her on a regular daily basis, but I'd try.

and I'm calling her "Shana".

Today, was the day of our Oath-taking. Since I won the position of Asst. Treasurer for the student council in our degree program organization, I got to be assigned tasks concerning money.

LOTS OF MONEY!!!

So yeah, since the oath-taking is the first ever project of the newly elected G.E.M.s officers,
we were assigned along with the class officers to different preparation committees.

I was the HEAD OF THE FOOD COMMITTEE

Yeah, it was the hardest of 'em all by the way XDD

hahaha :P

So before anything about it began,

I was at the jeep, headed to the train station.

when suddenly, the jeep came to a halt, and a girl went aboard.

she was wearing a black polo, the top three buttons undone, tucked in a short skirt, similar to
those office ones, colored with different shades of green and high-heeled white sandals.

she had radiant white skin, and a somehow "manly" build, maybe because of the shoulders,
which are pretty broad, or maybe it was because of the shirt.

Also, her somewhat "fatty" body gave me that impression. Don't get me wrong, she was sexy,
I said it that way because I can't think of anything else to say. Anyway, let's get back.

she had a nice triangular-shaped face

her cheek bones were positioned to give her face a smooth and somehow fierce look

she had thin lips, the kind that suit the silent types, lined with lipgloss that gave out its pinkish nature to contrast her skin

she had a nose with regular length, ending at a thin nose bridge adding to the look that may give the impression that the person is the serious type.

and lastly, her eyes, they were somehow the type that would say "rawr". they were pointy, and her lashes were mascara'd to a nice curve

and finally framed behind oval-shaped pair of full-rimmed glasses,

you could say she looked secretary-ish

I admit that I tried to peep through her undone shirt, but only to get a better look of
her curves. And unfortunately, I couldn't

I couldn't tell if she was perfect in terms of physical appearance because of that.

I ended up staring at her until I got off the jeep, of course there were intervals that I'd look away so people wouldn't say that I was a pervert or something.

I wasn't perversing at her, it wasn't like that. I just know how to appreciate beauty,

and it was ALOT of appreciating.

at one interval I noticed with my peripherals that she glanced at me, she must've noticed that I was staring at her most of the time, and gave a shy roll of her eyes, the type that girls would do when she notices someone looking at her

after I got off, she rode on another jeep, so it was goodbye,

for now...

yeah, it's pretty long now, so I guess I'll end it here


Waiting for my turn,

Jono

lkadjflsdjkf

I don't know why,

but I really felt mad that time.

something in my mind told me it was fine, that it was just nothing,

but something else told me that she had no right.

and something else was right.

she could've told me in the first place.

reasons should always come with asking permission.

my birthday is almost here.

yaaay. :|

nothing really happens. no one cares.

I have to hide this one. just smile.

Earlier I was really excited to go online to talk with everyone again, but yeah.

seemed like no one really cared whether I am or not.

I greeted a nice "hello" and "konbanwa" to everyone.

but no one kinda noticed.tsk.

well, life has already been like that for me for the past 15 years.

no one does.

and it seemed the only person who would cared for something else.

I thought it was a sign of appreciation.

but yeah, people think wrong. Like I did.

she needed it for something at school. yeah. here ya go.

wow.

happyhappy day.

goodnight.

GUSTO KO SUMIGAW

Alam mo ung usual routine ko na gusto kitang pangitiin? UN UN EH.
..
TAPOS BIGLANG GANUN!?!??!
..
SHUT THE FUCK UP!??!
..
okay.
..
ansaya din eh.
..
kaylangan pala ganun. tas magpaparinig ng ganun??
:(((

hindi ako nangiiwan noh... ayoko mangiwan...

masmasaaket...

ibang-iba na kase eh..

hindi na talga katulad ng date..